#73. imaginary letter, from you to me ;

You want to know why im treating you this way. But ask yourself. Why.

I trusted you. I was falling for you. But what did you do? You ended up with someone else. K and i were great friends. But because of you, we fought, and it never got better again.

Who was there for you when you broke up? Me. I kept you company, made sure you werent lonely. And all i had to hear was you telling me how much you loved K. I endured it til the end. Then you got him back, and left me a broken heart.

The third time. Everything was so real, we were happy, everyone else was happy, thinking that we finally made it. You even cut everything off with K for me. However. Once bitten, twice shy. Im sorry that i backed off, i was so afraid that the same thing would happen to us again.

Last year. You suddenly asked me out and you confessed. Same thing, i didnt know whether i should trust you. I told you i just wanted to focus on my studies. I knew you were hurt, but i was overtaken by insecurity. Not long after that, i found out that when you confessed, you were actually with someone else. D. I was stupid enough to think that you were waiting all the while.

You saw me with D the other day. I was just as surprised as you to bump into each other again. D was certain that you would text me after that. And i was certain that he would tell you everything i said. I fed D the story that im still mad that you told everyone else that im ur boyfriend back then. When we werent.

But how long has this been? Almost 2 years. You must be really dumb if you believed the story. And dont you rmb how i defended you frm this? I knew M was jealous that we were close thats why she spreaded the rumor. But i believed you. Because of you i scolded my ex girlfriend of 3 years.

Rmb what happened on your last bday? I bought you a cake. I decided to make it up to you because i turned down your friends' invitation to celebrate your bday the year before. I called you when i was outside your house. I thought i could give you a surprise. But you were mean enough not to meet me. You asked me to just leave the cake outside. Why did you have to do that? Did you have another bf too?

So tell me XT. Tell me how im supposed to trust you again. All these while i havent been good in expressing my feelings but you should know that i truly care bout you. But all you did was giving me hopes and then letting me down. Dont tell me how much you love me, cuz if you do. You wouldve just focused on me. You wouldve just looked at me. Dont tell me you were lonely, i didnt have other girls either.

And now you are back again. I just have to ignore you. Im just protecting myself. From having another heartbreak. I have no other choices. I thought we could overcome this, but i guess we're just not meant to be. You too. After so many times, cant you just wake up and face the reality? It will never work out between us. Im sorry.




As stated and to repeat. This is merely IMAGINARY. Based on my own interpretations. With perasan elements. =.= Yes. As much as i hate to admit it i guess im still very much in love with him. And if we were given another chance. I swear i would appreciate it, never let go, and never screw it up again. Never get distracted by, and never find comfort in other guys again. But he's not willing to open up his heart again. Is he?

I wander round and round, but never fail to get back to him in the end. J, as a point in a circle. And the theory sticks.

Anyone remember the super long letter thingy that I wrote earlier this year? I tried to find it and realized its in another blog. And its private now. So i cant link it. Oh and it might be dangerous to post this here. But who cares, not many people know the new link? :x