#111. Friendship.

不过就是单纯的友谊 怎么还要质疑

全世界都一样 不管你做什么 都用同样的理由来解释 就是 "你喜欢他"

我没有在逃避 只是不想再被莫名其妙的话伤害自己

。。。

就这样慢慢疏远 我们以后不会再是什么特别要好的朋友

本来就应该知道 你的世界根本容不下我这种跟你不同等级的人

可能我到某个时候会发现 以后的关系会比现在这样好很多

。。。

我珍惜的两个朋友
这两天都轮流在我的伤口上撒盐
到底会怎么样了呢? 时间会告诉我
只要我做好自己...


其他其他的人 我知道你们也很爱我 谢谢你们
尤其是今天安慰我的那位
谢拉:]

#110. All in one shot.

warning : emo post ahead and i swear i have all the reasons to be emo. with them all combined together, its fatal T___T

firstly. im sick. down with flu and sore throat and slightly feverish. slept for 5 hours this afternoon after class but still not getting better. water keep flowing from my nose hahaha if u get what i mean. keep blowing my nose only. took some flu pills also. think im sleeping with koolfever tonight, to be on the safe side.. and i had no appetite for the whole day!! if you know me well you know how fast i get hungry everyday right. so its like.. super abnormal. the emptiness is there loh. its like you know its time to eat but you dont feel hungry at all. damn sad :'(

secondly. i've been feeling left out these few days. because she got new best friend already. hey im not jealous okay, i feel so happy for her. but then. it hurts when i feel like im not the top priority anymore. its like. im not the only plan anymore. not the only one she depends on anymore. made my hopes high when she's gonna bring me to meet the friends then made me fell face flat when she said the taxi only occupies 4 of them and not me. sorry, im a thinker. for the moment i felt like. maybe i dont belong to that circle also. so why bother getting in? then when i slowly cooled down i asked her whether she wants to come to kuantan with me? this weekend wants to go to kl? she didnt say no, i dunno why but the way she answered spells rejection. another huge blow landed. and now i dunno what will happen next..

thirdly. people's been kacau-ing me that i like him. i've been denying this for like months then the rumors and teasing stopped. until recently. i dunno who started the dumb thing again and this time its kinda serious. the way they brought up the topic during the 2 truths and 1 lie game last night was. urghh. you cannot imagine how i felt. its like all the guns at palma are pointing at me saying "just admit that you like him." greattt. and from the way i see it he kinda believes it also. which is kinda ridiculous cuz we've been close friends since forever. i havent seen him since the paiseh thing last night but i bet its gonna be awkward between us. greattt. im sure people's response to this will be "ur fault lah who ask you to be so close to him!" so okay lah.

fourthly. the a levels gang are finishing their exam next week so they are going to kuantan. on thursday. and now its kinda like the whole huge makan gang is going. and the problem is, i have class on friday thats why i cant follow the crowd on thursday. so i asked on our makan gang page whether anyone wants to follow me but, no response! the other day, i jio-ed people to makan but no one wanted to eat. so yesterday i kinda changed it to another way. i asked whether anyone wants to join me for dinner. same result. why lah make me feel like im the insignificant one? seriously. whats my problem?? :'( so now its either i dont go back next weekend at all, or i'll have to take plane. which adds more weight on my guilty conscience because i've spent enough money already!

i dont say anything, i dont show anything. but that doesnt mean i dont feel anything.
and if u happen to feel that my rants are unnecessary, just have to leave this page right now. thanksss.

i just need to get rid of this. insecurity problem. i wanna go home!

#109. 29/5/2011

my parents must be the best in the whole wide world. cant believe that i actually got both of my most desired gadgets on the same day.. even if i insisted i could wait/buy on my own,

as a belated birthday presents/motivation for me to study hard.

loving my itouch and hey, nex-3 baby is currently back in kuantan so nobody has seen it yet :p

ace this semester, and lose a few pounds. i can do this. i must. to repay everything :))
sorry for being a spoilt kid.

i love my parents. thanks daddy mummy. :)))

#108. 曾经的那个你.

因为你 我长大了很多

第一次看到你是在 psycho 班的时候 你还是金色蘑菇头 第一印象是觉得你很 lansi 因为你迟到进班一坐下来就按你的 ice-cream 因为跟我妹妹的电话一样我就更加注意 然后我就觉得男生用那一款很特别 哈 然后就是听他们说什么 潮男 酷男 宅男 gang 什么的就知道原来你就是那个传说中的潮男 哈哈

直到你换了那个新发型 还真的是狂放电 一开始没有发现你就是我的那个 psycho classmate 是看到你跟 99 在一起才确定是你 然后我就上 psycho 班上到很爽因为有帅哥看 哈哈哈 然后是不知道怎样 facebook chat 就有交际 有一次你在班上跟我笑的时候我就开始被 sot 到了

一开始是因为只是 small crush 然后又没有很熟所以没有怎样 第一次真正 hang out 是在 sushi king 发现你是一个很幽默的人 很有 feel 然后因为 fright dome, street party etc 慢慢变熟 一直都是我一个人静静在喜欢你 直到第一次 club 不小心揭穿秘密 很庆幸没有改变什么

在 kukup 的时候你跟我讲很多 那时候真的弄到我超级有 feel 对不起可能真的是我 perasan 如果时间可以转回去 我一定不会在 new years eve 傻傻跟你告白后被 reject 哈哈 有一次跟你 hang out 到早上 6 点 有点搞不清状况 我们到底是什么关系

你跟 yq 终于 official 我没有很惊讶 就觉得该来的始终会来 也没有哭 就觉得我喜欢你就好了 你不必喜欢我 又这样过着时间 直到第二次 club 发生的事 明明知道不应该这样可是 alcohol effect 真的很可怕 那次是我因为你 emo 到最够力的一次 不但自己生气自己 还要全世界来生气我

一开始以为没事 可是因为这件事受到的关注 你慢慢跟我保持距离 那道墙的出现 我很不喜欢 不是因为我对你还有什么特别感觉 就是因为我只把你当很好的朋友然后又这样 but maybe this is for the best 也不能怪任何人 我的生日你 send 给我的 msg 我很感动 谢谢

以后会怎样 我不知道
我每次开玩笑说 妈的这个人浪费了我两个 sem
其实我真的没有后悔过 曾经你对我那么重要
就是喜欢到我都不知道自己在做什么的喜欢 哈哈

真的 谢谢你让我长大 :)

#107. Rain.

taking a break ; the STA219 revision exercises almost strangled me to death. hoping that the final questions will be more or less the same. :)

still raining, after like 2 hours? mcd craving cant be fulfilled just yet. tomorrow is the last day before we head for war. btw i still owe this blog a birthday post, and some other personal thingys. will be updating during my sembreak, IF my blogging mojo is there.

ciao for now. its gonna be a long night.
buck up, everyone. do your best with no regrets.

can i ever be this thin? :)